MY STORY
By Clay Anthony Ford
Dear Young Friends,
My name is Clay Anthony Ford and I am 34 years old. Although my home is in
Memphis, Tennessee, I haven’t seen my home in over 13 years because I am in
prison here in Arkansas.
I came to Arkansas when I was 21 years old, driving a stolen car, carrying a gun
and drinking alcohol. I was also smoking marijuana and on the run from the
prison officials in Tennessee where I escaped. Policemen here in Arkansas
stopped me at a roadblock and shots were fired. When the shooting was over a
state trooper was wounded and so was I. The trooper died about two hours after
he was shot and I was charged with his death. I was tried for causing this man’s
death and sentenced to die in the electric chair. For the past 12 years I have
been here on death row waiting to die. I have already seen 4 men here be put to
death by the state. I’ve seen one man here take his own life by cutting his own
throat. And I’ve seen several men here killed, or nearly killed by other
prisoners.
Like I’ve already said. I AM IN PRISON, AND…………….THIS IS HOW IT IS IN PRISON.
It’s dangerous and it’s lonely. It is not a good place to be.
The neighborhood that I grew up in was a very rough area of Memphis. There were
fights, shootings, break-ins and many teenaged girls with babies. Almost
everyone was doing something wrong or breaking the law in some way, and I was
right with them. I would steal things and break into houses and businesses and
take whatever I could get my hands on. My Mom would always tell me that I would
go to jail for the things I was doing, but I wouldn’t listen to her and I
thought I was too slick to get caught or go to jail. But my Mom was right
because I went to jail 4 times in Tennessee before I got into trouble over here
in Arkansas. And now I’m in so much trouble that the courts say the only way I
can get out of it is to die.
Many, many times I wished I could be a little kid again and do it all over this
time – THE RIGHT WAY – but you only get one chance to grow up and if you blow
the chance you must live (or die) with the consequences. So you young people
must do it right the first time.
Now when I first came to death row, I had plans to kill myself because I felt
like I had nothing left to live for. I could never be with my family and friends
again and I could never go or do the things I wanted to do. So I wanted to die.
But another young man on death row with me told me something that I found very
hard to believe. He told me that God loved me so very much that God sent His Son
into the world to die for me, so that I could live a happy life forever.
That was hard for me to believe because I knew how bad and mean I had been. How
could someone so great and so special love someone like me THAT MUCH? And in my
heart, I really didn’t want to kill myself, but I didn’t want to continue to
live like I had been living either….always in trouble, always being punished.
So this same young man who told me how much God loves me, also told me that if I
would repent of my sins, or tell God that I was sorry for all the wrong that I
had done (and really mean it in my heart), then God would forgive me of my sins
and His Son Jesus would come into my heart and help me live the right way.
For days I wondered if God would really forgive me if I asked Him to, and would
Jesus really want to help me. It just sounded too good to be true. Yet, I
couldn’t forget the guy’s words about God loving me and Jesus wanting to help
me. Then, the guy showed me a scripture in the Bible that said, “For God so
loved the world, that He gave His only Begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in
Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” He asked me what the word
WHOSOEVER meant, and I answered “ANYBODY, I guess.” The guy then pointed out
that I was anybody, so God was talking to me too. And that was the proof I
needed to know that God really did love me, He truly would forgive me, and Jesus
would indeed come into my heart to help me live the right way.
So I got on my knees in my cell when I was alone and opened my heart to God. I
prayed and asked God to forgive me of all of my sins because I believed that
Jesus was His Son and that Jesus died for me. I told God that I was sorry for
all the wrong things I had done in my life and I wanted to live for Him now. So
I asked Jesus to come into my heart and guide me for the rest of my life. When I
got up off my knees I had a changed heart and a changed mind. I no longer wanted
to do wrong anymore and I just wanted to help people and not hurt them.
As bad as I was, God still loved me, and He changed me because I put my trust in
His Son Jesus Christ. God is not like people. He will love and help anybody.
WHOSOEVER WILL BELIEVE HIM – so young people, just because you live in a bad
place where bad things happen, that doesn’t mean you have to be bad. Or if
you’ve already done lots of bad things, that doesn’t mean you have to keep on
doing bad things. If you do like I did and ask God to forgive you so His Son
Jesus can come and live in your heart – God will do it if you really mean it. It
will make all the difference in the world in your life and you won’t end up like
me here in prison far away from home. You all need Jesus to make it safely
through this world. He is the only one who can be with you all of the time,
wherever you go. And Jesus isn’t make-believe. HE IS A REAL PERSON LIKE US, BUT
BEING GOD’S SON, HE CAN DO ANYTHING, HE HAS ALL POWER!!! AND HE CAN BE IN MANY
PLACES AT THE SAME TIME – HERE WITH ME, AND THERE WITH YOU. Just believe, my
friends.
I want all of you to know that God loves each one of you very, very much and He
has a plan for each one of your lives – a very special plan. None of you are
left out. If God didn’t love you, you would have never heard from me. So trust
in God, let Jesus come into your heart, and let Him lead you into the special
plan that He has for your life.
It wasn’t God’s plan that I kill someone, or end up here in prison for it. He
wanted me to be free and happy. But I didn’t trust in God. I didn’t know He
loved me – but even though I did so bad, He still loved me and accepted me when
I asked Him to forgive me and help me change.
Now my friends (and you are my friends), I have told you that God loves you very
much, and I love you. I can only hope and pray that you will love God back,
trust in Him and live for Him. I am in prison and cannot come to you. But I send
you all my story, my love, and my prayers.
By God’s grace, Clay Ford is no longer on death row but continues to serve
out his sentence.