“I must go with the jury’s recommendation of Life in Prison” was what I recall the Judge saying.  My knees almost buckled and I couldn’t walk straight.  I felt that the  wrath of God had fallen on me.  While being escorted back to the County Jail I vaguely remember a clap of thunder and for a moment it seemed like I had heard part of a Pink Floyd song.  It was like I was being paid back for all the wrong I had committed.  It felt like all the drugs and alcohol, all the fornication, all the wrong I had intended for others, every lie I had ever told was being paid back to me in full.  

Almost eight years into my incarceration I woke up one morning feeling sick to my stomach.  Nothing seemed real that morning.  My vision was a little messed up and had been for some time.  Previously, these problems had been blown off as a sinus problem.  Not this time however.  I had gone to work as usual and was getting prepared for a basketball game later that morning.  Soon after arriving at the gym, we began the game.  On several occasions, I would have to stop playing due to severe dizziness and double vision.  Early the next morning I would be sent to the hospital from the prison infirmary where a Scan of my brain would be taken, only to show that nothing was wrong.  The Doctor had told the security over me that I was faking a stroke, even though it was clear that I couldn’t speak and that my right side was paralyzed.  Later however, my right side would come back and they were now saying it could have been a mini-stroke or possibly Multiple Sclerosis.  They tested me and found nothing.  By this time though, my left side started going.  After a close-up MRI of my brain, they found that I had a narrow vertebral artery.  The neurologist had said that my vertebral artery was too small probably due to hereditary problems or a birth defect.  The prognosis didn’t look good.  He also said that I was at risk for another life threatening stroke.  Now, all of a sudden, after years of trying to die through drinking and drugs and even a failed suicide attempt, I wanted to live.  Fear had total control of my life now. 

A few weeks prior to having my strokes, I was playing handball and leaned down to pick up a ball and a terrible thought flashed through my mind.  It seemed like someone or something was trying to tell me of something to come.  The thought was that I would loose the use of my legs.  Of course, I thought nothing of it and stood up and continued on with my handball game.  A few weeks later, I suffered two strokes and probably several mini-strokes.  One of those strokes would eventually take my left side all together.  

One night while in my bed at the Department’s Hospital, a thought of Jesus Christ dying on the Cross came to mind.  I began crying uncontrollably.  Every sin I had ever committed came back and I was feeling true conviction for the first time in my life.  The Holy Spirit had touched my heart.  A few months later, I was reading a booklet on the Holy Spirit and found two stories similar to mine.  One lady said almost the exact same thing.  A thought came to her mind about Jesus dying on the cross and she began crying uncontrollably.  The other, who was a kid in his teens, said he was standing outside a revival tent mocking those who were at the revival, when all of a sudden he fell to the ground and began crying uncontrollably.  Not long afterwards, I was reading another booklet on how the Holy Spirit works in and through people.  It seemed that almost everything I was reading was taking place or had already taken place in my life.  It happened without me even realizing it.  Friends and relatives began coming back into my life.  Some came back, even after 10 years or more.  One of these friends reminded me of a scripture in Joel 2:25, where it states that God would restore the years that the locusts have taken.  We serve a wonderful God.  No longer do I have to fear anymore nor do I have to live in bondage even though I am incarcerated.